Lochore Welfare 1 Hill of Beath Hawthorn 4 - 14/03/2015

While I was paying to get into this match and buying a ticket for the half-time raffle, a guy and two girls were quibbling about the entrance fee (a fiver each) and almost decided not to bother going to the game. They begrudgingly paid and I heard one of the girls exclaim 'that's ridiculous!'. Conclusion: they don't know they're born in Lochore.

The game started off at a hundred miles an hour. The tackles were flying in. On one occasion a Hill of Beath player about to control a pass on the wing received the shout of 'time!' from a team mate, only to be clattered before he'd even touched the ball.

In the first half Lochore looked the better side and you wouldn't have guessed there were two divisions between the teams. After some early pressure they took the lead from a header at the back post. The response to the goal was somewhat muted, which made me think the majority of the fans in the ground were Hill of Beath followers.

It was almost 2-0 when the 'Lochore Messi' (no idea which player it was, sorry) nutmegged the Hill of Beath right-back and skipped past a couple of challenges in the penalty area, before losing his composure and blazing wide.

Lochore had another chance to extend their lead a few minutes later - although this time it was self-inflicted from Hill of Beath. Under pressure, a defender played a pass back to the keeper (I'm sure I heard the goalie shout 'fuck off, I don't want it') and from my vantage point I could see the old advice about always aiming a pass back off target had been disregarded. The ball bobbled just as the keeper went to howf it, skiffed his boot, and ended up millimetres wide of the post.

Against the run of play Hill of Beath equalised. A defence splitting pass lead to a one-on-one sprint between defender and attacker, and it was clear to see the Hill of Beath forward was too quick for the Lochore defender.. The keeper also realised this and opted to come sprinting off his line, Manuel Neuer-style, but unfortunately for him the attacker got there first and slotted the ball into an empty net. The response to this goal was also quite muted, which made me think the majority of the fans in the ground were neutral.

This local derby had some added spice due to veteran Hill of Beath midfielder Kevin Fotheringham previously being player-manager of Lochore. I heard an old dear tell some fellow fans how she'd exchanged views with Fotheringham on the sidelines and he'd called her an idiot. According to her version of events she replied 'I'm nae mair of an idiot than you' which was as good a response as any, I thought.

Two early goals in the second half for Hill of Beath killed off the game. Both of the goals came on the break, and I'm pretty sure the Hill of Beath number 11 was involved both times. Lochore rarely threatened again, although they did come close when a free kick from the edge of the box was palmed wide by the keeper.

Fotheringham then rounded off the victory with a touch of class. Hill of Beath again countered down the right wing, the ball was squared to Fotheringham on the edge of the box and he sized up the keeper before dinking the ball into the top corner with his left foot. A comprehensive win for Hill of Beath after starting the game so poorly.

 

Attendance: circa 120

Falkirk Juniors 3 Tranent Juniors 2 - 21/02/2015

Ever since Falkirk FC moved to their new stadium between Falkirk and Grangemouth, other teams' fans have goaded the Bairns' supporters by claiming that they no longer play in Falkirk, they now play in Grangemouth (or to put it more simply: 'Grangemouth cunts', as I once heard a Hearts' fan wittily comment.) The Falkirk fans will of course deny that their new spiritual home is based in Grangemouth (who wouldn't?) and insist that it is most definitely within the borders of Falkirk town.

There can be no such arguments over the location of Falkirk Juniors: they most definitely play in Grangemouth (at Grangemouth Stadium, no less.) The club were formed in 2011 to give players from the Falkirk area a chance to play at a good level. New junior clubs starting up is a relatively rare occurence - however, it's even rarer that they walk into a ready-made stadium!

Grangemouth Stadium was built primarily for athletics in the 1960s (part-funded by the BP) and once hosted a Status Quo concert. There was talk of East Stirlingshire playing there when they moved out of Firs Park a few years ago, but that never materialised. On one side there is a large all-seater stand that can hold 1000. The rest of the ground is surrounded by a mixture of terracing and tarmac. At the back of the stand is a commentator's box which doubles as the pie hut on one side, and the committee hospitality area on the other. We were admonished by a stern lady for entering the committee's side of the box (there was a sign, apparently.) Although the stadium is undoubtedly an excellent facility, there are some problems:

1.)  Due to the presence of the running track, the supporters are quite far away from the pitch. This means you don't get any camaraderie between the fans and players, which is of course one of the best thing about smaller crowds.
2.) Given that the club are based in Grangemouth, it's difficult to see the people from Falkirk turning out in great numbers to support them,
3.) Given also that the last junior team from the area (Grangemouth United) folded in the 1970s due to low crowds, it's difficult to see the people of Grangemouth getting behind a team not even bearing their town's name. However, they seem like a well-run club with a hard-working committee so good luck to them.

 

The main stand (and pie hut.)

 

Onto the match. We arrived slightly late to find we'd already missed a Tranent goal. Falkirk Juniors were wearing what appeared to be an old set of Chelsea strips (they even had Samsung as the sponsor). As we settled down to watch the match it became clear that Falkirk were the stronger side. After spurning what seemed like endless chances they eventually managed to find an equaliser. Early in the second half they went ahead, and I commented to my mate ' they'll run away with it now surely'. Despite Falkirk continuing to create (and spurn) many chances I was proved wrong when Tranent scrambled an equaliser from a corner, their second chance of the game and second goal. However, Falkirk scored again a few minutes later to scrape a well-deserved victory.

Attendance: circa 45

Albion Rovers 0 Clyde 2 - 14/02/2015

On Saturday I made my first trip to Cliftonhill - despite being the owner of a season ticket (last summer they were available on a pay-what-you-can basis, a fine initiative which I though deserved to be supported.) The Rovers have found themselves in an uncharacteristically lofty position this season and were looking to get their promotion push back on track after a midweek defeat to East Fife. This was also my first game in over a month due to the abysmal weather.

Spotted on the way to the ground.

Despite being in possession of a season ticket, I duly paid a tenner to get in - a quick glance at the ground was enough to convince me that the Wee Rovers need it more than I do. The first thing I noticed on entering the ground was the massive empty terraced section on the opposite side (pics below), which I assume is now closed for safety reasons. In fact there's only one side of the ground open to fans - the main stand, which is a mixture of wooden benches, plastic seats and terracing. There's not much behind the goals except the giant old-fashioned floodlights, which spluttered into life at about half four as darkness fell.

I headed for the portakabin at the side of the main stand which houses the refreshments and club shop. I didn't even feel like getting a bovril - a sure sign that the temperature is rising. I bought a pin-badge to add to my blossoming collection though.

The hallowed turf.

Check out the old-school floodlights.

I found myself a suitable spot to watch the game among the sizeable Clyde contingent. For the first few minutes of the game the ball seemed to be permanently in the air. Not being hoofed up in the air - just being headed back-and-forth in midfield. The game settled down a bit but remained quite scrappy, not helped by the weather-beaten pitch. Clyde scored on the break after about fifteen minutes, which set the Clyde fans off with a rendition of 'Cliftonhill is falling down' (to the tune of London Bridge...) Credit must go to the group of 5 or 6 school age Albion fans who worked their way through the entire back catalogue of Albion Rovers hits during the game.

Albion had a goal disallowed before half-time, the bulky number nine adjudged to have used his bulk a little too much in the run up to the goal. Half-time arrived and I went to find the facilities. There was a queue so I decided to practice the ancient art of 'hauding it in' instead. The second half continued in similar fashion to the first until Keigan Parker (anyone remember him? The next Michael Owen? No?) beat a couple of men on the wing and crossed for an easy tap-in to make it 2-0 to Clyde. A disappointing performance and result for Albion Rovers, but despite two home defeats in a week they still have a great chance of nicking the automatic promotion spot and reaching the giddy heights of SPFL League One.

If you look really closely you can see a couple of free-loaders on the top left.

Attendance: 714 

Broxburn Athletic v Bo'ness United (match abandoned) - 10/01/2015

This post will probably be very similar to the game at Albyn Park last Saturday (ie. half-finished). I've never been to a match that was abandoned before, so this was a new experience at least. When I was checking twitter in the morning it seemed like Broxburn v Bo'ness was one of the only games in Scotland that was actually going ahead! The pitch passed an inspection about an hour before kick-off, although perhaps the ref should have had a quick look at the weather forecast before he made his final decision.

Unfortunately I didn't get the chance to have a proper look around the ground (as it was too cold to explore further than the pie stand.) I liked what I did see though: it was an interesting mix between old and new, with the run-down, corrugated iron enclosure (where most of the supporters were wisely huddled together) standing alongside the brand new changing rooms / social club complex. The other three sides of the pitch are surrounded by grass banks. There were some fans viewing the match from a balcony attached to the social club, which I guess is the hospitality area. Albyn Park also boasts a 4G pitch, and the old changing rooms have been refurbished and now host the local boxing club. Impressive!

All looked well when the game kicked off...

 

The dugouts. Note the massive bing behind the ground.

The rather swanky programme.

Now to the game. What to say about the game? I think it may have been too cold to actually take any of it in. At one point I remember commenting to my mate that it was a poor game. In fact I think that may have been just before Bo'ness scored. As the first (and only) half wore on the snow began to fall. The pitch got whiter and whiter and it was increasingly difficult to see anything. Despite this, the fabled orange ball never appeared. I remember looking at the linesman standing on the halfway line with the wind and sleet in his face and seeing him grimace. I felt slightly foolish as it dawned on me that I was here of my own free will. In fact I'd actually paid to get in! The ref blew up for half time and the players  bolted for the changing rooms.A short time later, the announcement came over the tannoy that the match had been abandoned. I don't think they even drew the half-time raffle!

 

Things start to go downhill...

Nae orange baw? Hametime.

Troon 1 Arthurlie 0 - 27/12/2014

I was visiting my girlfriend at her mother's in Ayrshire over the weekend, so I took the opportunity to visit somewhere a bit further afield. Luckily the Troon fixture survived the weather, unlike a few other matches I had considered attending!

I spotted the stadium from the train as we pulled into Troon. It was a short walk from the station to Portland Park. The first thing I noticed was that, if I wished, I could watch the game for free, as it was possible to view the pitch completely unobstructed from the road outside the ground. I had loads of time to spare before the game kicked off, so I walked the hundred yards or so down to the seaside to have a look at the view:

You don't get views like this at Old Trafford

Despite my thrifty nature, I paid my five pounds to watch the game and squeezed through the undersized turnstile, clearly built at a time when men were much, much smaller. It's probably one of the smallest grounds I've been to, but it does boast a social club. A railway embankment runs along one side of the ground; the toilets, social club, changing rooms and enclosure are on the opposite side. There is a very small terrace behind one of the goals, and a training pitch and mobile phone mast at the other end.

The social club and enclosure.

It was cold and I was starving so I headed straight to the refreshment stand for a pie and bovril. A decent crowd had gathered as kick off drew near, aided by a sizeable contingent of Arthurlie fans. I decided to watch the game from the enclosure. As the game started it was clear Arthurlie were extremely fired up, and there was more noise from the pitch than there was from the fans. The Troon players seemed a little subdued in comparison, and it seemed like it was only a matter of time before Arthurlie took the lead. At one point an effort on goal hit the bar and the post before being cleared. 'Mon the Leeee!' was the recurring battle cry from one Arthurlie fan. Towards the end of the half Troon came back into the game, hitting the woodwork a couple of times. 

At halftime a lot of fans made their way to the social club. Another unsuccessful (for me, anyway) halftime draw came and went. I bought a second bovril of the game to keep the cold away. People rubbed their hands together and stamped their feet to try and stay warm. The sun was out, but it was seriously Baltic.

 

The enclosure.

Troon scored the only goal of the game early in the second half: Wilson heading home from a cross. It should have been 2-0 moments later, but the chance was spurned. A few match balls escaped the stadium; one landing deep in the brambles on the embankment. I don't know whose job it was to retrieve it, but I didn't envy them. Trains passed every ten minutes or so. Occasionally a few fans would wave cheerily. The last twenty minutes of the game saw Arthurlie pressing for an equaliser, but it never arrived. Troon saw out the victory, overtaking their opponents in the league in the process.

Attendance: circa 200

Cowdenbeath 0 Heart of Midlothian 2 - 23/12/2014

I spotted this game last weekend as I was scanning the upcoming fixtures. I immediately sent a text to my Hearts-supporting mate to see if he was going. He wasn't, but it didn't take much effort to convince him we should try and get tickets. Hearts had apparently sold out their allocation long ago, so we were left with no other option than to try the home end. We were successful, although I was slightly worried my mate  - a diehard, slightly boisterous Jambo - wouldn't be able to contain himself for ninety minutes in the wrong end.

Our tickets were for the old stand. Apparently, at some point half of what was the main stand burned down. A new, modern stand was built alongside what survived. The old stand contains only wooden benches, as opposed to the plastic seats of the new stand. We were in the very back row, which is also apparently where the young team congregates. Indeed, I couldn't even sit on my allocated part of the bench as there was a young man standing on it! The atmosphere was good, someone had a drum and the young team were in fine voice. The old-fashioned tin roof that covers the stand kept the noise in well. My mate managed to contain his jam-tartness by joining in with some of the anti-Dunfermline songs. He even had a swig of one of the young team's Buckfast.

I honestly can't remember that much about the game - I was too busy enjoying the atmosphere and surveying the surroundings. One thing I definitely remember: it seemed like Cowdenbeath barely made it into the Hearts box in the first half. When Hearts inevitably scored, my mate managed not to cheer - instead he took a queue from a nearby Cowdenbeath fan and shouted at Jimmy Nicholl to 'fucking get this sorted oot'. 

Shortly before halftime we took a trip to the toilet, my mate insisting we could probably find a way into the Hearts end. As we were walking up to the large fence to survey our options we spotted a Hearts fan who'd been let through to go to the toilet. Bingo! We walked past the steward and squeezed through the fence. 'Are you boys Hearts fans?' he asked. 'Aye mate, just been to the toilet'. 'No bother' he shrugged. Although I had been enjoying the atmosphere in the home end, I was looking forward to getting a different vantage point and seeing the rest of the stadium.

We walked round to the opposite side of the stadium. The Hearts fans had been given the three all-terraced sides. Thousands of fans packed onto the terraces is some sight; it's just a shame the Hearts fans won't get to experience it again next season. The sooner safe-standing is introduced in Scottish top 

flight football the better in my opinion.

Looking across to the old and new stands.

Cowdenbeath improved after the break. Jimmy Nicholl obviously took the abuse he received from a Hearts-fan-pretending-to-be-a-Cowdenbeath-fan to heart and gave his team a kick up the backside. They didn't manage to equalise though, and Hearts soon doubled their lead. The second goal was what's known as 'a brammer', although if I was the Cowdenbeath manager I'd be slightly worried that Callum Paterson found time to chest down his own header before volleying into the top corner.

Central Park is a stadium that's full of character. The stock car racing track around the pitch, the continental fences to keep the fans off the track (or away from Jimmy Nicholl), the club shop in a portacabin, the old-fashioned floodlights, and the half-old stand / half-new stand all contribute to a nostalgic match-day experience. The one downer was that the bovril was twice as expensive as at Bo'ness United on the Saturday, despite almost certainly being the exact same stuff. 'Championship football', my mate consoled me.

I enjoyed my trip to Cowdenbeath, although I'd like to go back and experience it on a 'normal' match day, rather than when the big boys are in town. Plus I might actually get into The New Goth for a pint next time - this time it was heaving on the way to the ground, and closed on the way back!

Attendance: 3718

Wee Jimmies after the match.

Bo'ness United 3 Musselburgh Athletic 0 - 20/12/2014

I took my girlfriend for her first visit to Newtown Park on Saturday - my spiritual footballing home. It was here I attended my first ever football match, when my Papa took my brother and I along on a fine summer evening roughly twenty-five years ago. I don't remember much about that game, other than that unforgettable first whiff of the Newtown Park toilets. The old brick toilets are still there today, the basic facilities unchanged (and most probably unwashed), apart from a relatively recent coat of blue paint on the outside of the building.

The mighty wooden grandstand sadly had to be taken down a few years ago. It was replaced by the rather plain blue roof in the picture.

It was a remarkably mild day for late December, and the pitch was in great shape for the time of year. There wasn't much between the teams in the first half, and after forty-five minutes it was still goalless. Despite the lack of goals, it was an entertaining enough match (although the old man behind me seemed to disagree, several times exclaiming 'schoolboy shite'). The Musselburgh number three took on the role of pantomime villain, throwing himself to the floor several times after fairly innocuous challenges from men at least a foot shorter than him. At one point a supporter with a head completely untroubled by hair shouted at the ref: 'Fucking typical ya baldy bastart!' No hair-loss solidarity on display here. We made for the pie stand shortly before half-time to beat the queue, and I opted for a sausage roll (sacrilege!) to accompany my customary bovril.

The half-time entertainment consisted, as always, of a man with a blackboard announcing the half-time raffle winners trudging around the pitch. No need for cheerleaders or rubbish music here! I didn't win, and indeed there were many cries of derision from the terraces around me as the blackboard came into view. 'It's two-seven-one A've goat, ye've goat yer numbers aw mixed up!' shouted one old man, to laughter from the crowd immediately around him.

View from the enclosure.

Bo'ness scored early in the second half from a free kick on the right wing. It was curled in left-footed, evading everyone before nestling in the far corner. The lead was doubled soon after, a corner finding a Bo'ness centre-half unmarked. 'Schoolboy shite', came the cry from behind me. In contrast to the evenly matched first-half, this was now shooting practice for Bo'ness. Musselburgh then had a man sent off for a second yellow card. He took his sending off in good spirits - throwing his shirt at the home bench and then volleying a door as he made his way to the changing rooms, to much jeering from the crowd. 

Before long it was three-nil, and soon after Musselburgh were down to nine men. As a Bo'ness forward rushed through he was taken down by the goalkeeper. The ball broke to a Bo'ness player who slotted it home, but the referee had already blown for the foul. The keeper was clearly impressed when his team-mate kicked the door on his way down the tunnel earlier in the game, so he decided to do the same thing. Musselburgh didn't have a sub goalie, so an outfield player had to go in goal. Unfortunately, Bo'ness didn't manage to test him in the few minutes remaining.

Overall a good afternoon's entertainment: three goals, two sending offs (with accompanying hissy-fits), and a man shouting 'schoolboy shite' as often as you could possibly like. All for the very reasonable price of five pounds!

Attendance: circa 360